My one-egged cousin from Beirut told me something yesterday, that I really thought must be a joke - and quite a good one too. - And then you will have to consider, that I tend to find man or even most jokes a little bit silly, and besides not at all surrealistic enough to compensate for this flaw.
My comical inhibition thus probably has much the same reason as the fact that deeply pious persons dislike seeing notorious gangsters weeping at the funerals of mayors, presidents and members of parliament, let alone judges (and now not a word about "selfies" - for all that you can find in the other Danish news media, and we have enough of sloppy recycling going on allready).
So, if you will excuse us, perhaps now we can start out on what turned out was not a joke at all: My cousin told me that learned Islamic law professors offer a very good official reason, why women are not allowed to give witness in court, since they are not considered trustworthy. Here it comes: Most women giving birth for the first time scream: "I swear I will never have another child !" But as you all know, most of them break their promise sooner or later, thereby making themselves great liars in a matter of the deepest seriousness.
Allmost like Karen Blixen declared herself even more flattered by the Nobelprize-winner Hemingway assuring her that she really should have had the prize instead of him, than if she had really got the Nobel Prize - so likewise I hold that my cousin's true story is even more funny, than if it had just been a joke. Though of course, if the "truth" of the story is really just part of the story itself, it was a very sophisticated joke after all.
Now my cousin told me another true story, and equally funny. The other day he bought milk, but insisted on getting milk with a high percentage of fat. The muslim woman in the shop was convinced he must obviously be taking nutritionally care of either a seriously pregnant wife or a wife with a new born baby.
My cousin answered: "No-no-no: Both my daughters are grown up now, and I definately don't want any more marriages, let alone children. But instead I can tell you, that seing my wife in the most terrible pain giving birth for the first time, I yelled to her: "I swear by God, that whatever you might do to me in the future, I will forgive you right away because of your painful sacrifice now!"
The muslim woman in the shop was so astonished to hear of my older cousin's good heart and generousity, that she fell on her knees and offered him to divorce right away and marry him instead. And this was not a joke. But being offered so much unconditional love at first sight, really embarking into another marriage after all would probably just promise a steady decline from this peak of marital epiphany - so much much better than marriage itself.
Finally: The probable fate of being rejected by the united world press would be even more flattering for this story than being published along with everybody and everything else.
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